LEGO Brand Retail
Nov 292012

Got a text message today telling me I won a $1000 Target gift card. YAY (if it were real). First off I never entered a contest secondly I knew this had to be a scam. So first thing I did when I hit the office was Google the phone number it came from — 323-636-8891. First thing to come up is a post about it being a scam. Check out a few more to confirm and it is definitely a scam. So if you get this text message (or anything telling you that you won something and asking you to click through to a website) don’t click the links, don’t reply (only tells them they have a good number) and DELETE the message off your phone.

text message scam

I then did a search for the website it was telling me to go to — and got more info and a few additional phone numbers that are sending out this crap. I wish it was easy to block phone numbers on my cell because half the known world would be blocked by now.

Two other people at work got this same text too. Just wanted you all to be on look out and not to be taken in during this crazy time of year.

It is bad enough we get all that SPAM in our email why bother us on our cell phones? Especially when most people have limited minutes and/or no text messaging (it cost them money).


Nov 202012

This is an ode to the gagged Mrs. Butterworth bottle I had in my bedroom back in the eighties.

Mrs. Butterworth why won’t you talk?
And why won’t you move or walk?
I just want to converse
Nothing odd or perverse
You sit here on my table
I am sure that you are able
But you don’t say a word
Need we teach you like a bird
Has the cat got your tongue
Or need it be sung
I know you’re not a mute
You talk to the man in the suit
I’ve seen you on the telly
You know my name is Kelly
So we’re not strangers
And there are no dangers
In talking to me
Why can’t you see
I want someone to talk to
Why can’t it be you

Nov 192012


I go into the bathroom
And I can’t see
That the tidy bowl man
Is watching me

[not sure who the Ty-D Bowl Man is? He was a company mascot in the 70s.]



Nuclear Wrist Watch

Watch wrist general use
Is what the back said.
I wore it every day
And now I am dead.

What they neglected to
Tell me and what I
Didn’t see before
I started to die

Was the little symbol.
It was hard to see.
In fact it was covered
At a quarter after three.

At first only the numbers
on the watch face glowed,
But the more I wore
it the more it showed.

My wrist changed its color
To an odd shade of green.
Then at night it became
Clear I was easily seen.

My hand started glowing
Then soon so did my arm.
The military said
It would cause no harm.

True it didn’t hurt.
And I was seen at night,
But a glowing human
Just couldn’t be right.

When I found out it was
Killing me slowly I
Knew that I would
Soon have to die.

My wristwatch killed me
And now I am dead.
So tomorrow they’ll bury
Me in a boxed lined with lead.

 The Bug Zapper

Late at night
I leave the house.
I sit on the hood of my car.
I sit there quiet as a mouse.

I sit watching and waiting
Staring at the light.
Waiting for the right moment
When it comes out of the night.

I see it coming from far off.
It is so large and white.
The moth has one thing on its mind
How to get at that light.

It tries and tries again and again
Never reaching but never losing sight
Of that caged in big brilliant light.
If it were me I’d run in fright.

It flies away only to come back flying
Full force it hits mid flight.
There’s a Zap then a crack.
The moth is near dead
Its movement only slight.

Tiny Town

Living in a tiny town
Is just so much fun.
Cruising all night long
Until a quarter to one.
We pull into the Hill.
Oh, Boy what a thrill.

 Mini-Golf or Lawn?

Pink plastic lawn ornaments
And other fun things.
They make me so happy
I just want to sing.

A little lawn jockey.
A big Cement deer.
Two flamingos there..
A flock of ducks here

A large oval birdbath
With one of each kind
Of bird from blue jay
To pelican. Any thing I find.

Three tiny elves live under
A great big giant mushroom
that’s red with yellow dots.
One even has a broom.

A  windmill That goes round
And a fountain that works.
A brick Path to the door.
Keep off the grass you jerks.

A sun dial in the garden.
I even have flowers too.
It’s just so neat sometimes
I just don’t know what to do.

Some people think it’s tacky.
Some people want it off
My lawn. Some have the gall to say
It looks like a place to play mini golf.

The stapler

It’s evil like a snake
Its metal fangs glisten
As it punctures
Its prey
Leaving its fangs
Folded in its victim
It is always ready
with its endless
supply of fangs

 The Date

Take the pain away from me
It hurts so much I can’t see
I see a fly on the wall
Its life almost over its about to Fall
The pain makes it hard to think
I only comprehend the human stink
Of lives like mine being wasted
Never knowing the joys to be tasted
There’s a Fear growing deep inside
A fear that you must run and hide
The Lord said reap what you sow
But just how far does it have to go
Before I can be relieved
I know it is hard to believe
But for some it hurts so much
When your date makes you go dutch
It’s like they do not care
When they make you pay your share
Take this pain away from me
Just this once pay for me

The Fourteen Cent Stamp

There’s a man named
Sinclair Lewis
For some reason he’s famed

He’s someone, but who?
This Sinclair Lewis?
And exactly what did he do?

He doesn’t have the greatest looks
This Sinclair Lewis
Did he write books?


Airplanes are big
Airplanes are Loud
Airplanes go flying
Up above the clouds

Airplanes are noisy
Airplanes are large
Airplanes are like
A big fat barge

Airplanes are huge
Airplanes aren’t quiet
I wonder if I
Could learn to fly it

Nov 152012

A writer, Tucker Harding, is hired to cover an article on the hydrogen-bomb test, Nevada, 1952. While there, radiation mutates her code/soul, spawning in her the ability to travel through time by force of will. Not long after she is murdered by a woman from the future, Ofelia, intent on securing her own ability to time travel. However, before her death Tucker travels to the year 1997 where she meets Drew, a failed writer who has been infected with Tuckers original mutation since birth.

Time travel can give you headaches Don’t think too hard about it just watch it.

Buy Sticky Fingers of Time at Amazon.

Nov 062012

Sticky BuddyCheck out my review of the Sticky Buddy and then enter the contest below for your chance to win one!

The contest is being held by, but you can enter here as well.

Read Boris’ review of the Sticky Buddy here:

Contest ends 11/23/12 so get your entries in early. Open to US residents only. Blog post comment entries may be posted on this site or

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Nov 062012


Salty tears sting my face
Sundry emotions begin to race
I miss you so
Why did you have to go
When my heart is wary
I come to this quiet cemetery
Standing beside your grave
Trying to be strong and brave
I touch your name engraved in stone
Somehow I feel so alone
Through my mortal heartache
I know God makes no mistakes
During my solace visit
I smile and reflect a bit
One day in Heaven we’ll be
Together again and happy

Nov 052012


Sunrise blazes the morning sky
Reflecting on a small pond nearby
Still surface, liquid glass
A mirror in the slumbering grass
Lucent colors of first morning
This sleepy pond is adorning
Watching from my dewy lawn
Absorbing pleasures of the dawn

Nov 042012


Blanched morning sky of blue
Host gentle clouds with gray bases
An easy wind is blowing
The Heavens are gathering souls
Will He call for her today
Or lend breath to stay
My soul is stirred by warm sunshine
Gleaming thru the window
Carrying me back to here

Nov 032012


I paused for a moment
And there I did see
This loving embrace
At the root of a tree

In the garden of love
Each other holding tight
Steadfast and true
Through everyday and every night

Upon the gentle earth
Lovers the world around
Long to hold each other
And say “I love you” without a sound.

Nov 022012
Cold Gentleness by Carla Weinhold

COLD GENTLENESS Powerful emotion in this stone Essence of her soul are shown Feel her cold gentleness Touching you with her tenderness Her compassion in contrast, due The very rock she is bound to She will remain timeless thru the ages Mystifying with her enchanted gazes

Nov 012012
Mystical Full Moon by Carla Weinhold

MYSTICAL FULL MOON Mystical full moon smiles at me Through naked, bent branches of an old tree Above the horizon situate high Laughing in the blue midnight sky Silent song the moon sings Lunar induced romance it brings Spilling silver beams of moonlight Robbing the black out of the night Surrounded by stars shimmering and […]