LEGO Brand Retail
Nov 192012


I go into the bathroom
And I can’t see
That the tidy bowl man
Is watching me

[not sure who the Ty-D Bowl Man is? He was a company mascot in the 70s.]



Nuclear Wrist Watch

Watch wrist general use
Is what the back said.
I wore it every day
And now I am dead.

What they neglected to
Tell me and what I
Didn’t see before
I started to die

Was the little symbol.
It was hard to see.
In fact it was covered
At a quarter after three.

At first only the numbers
on the watch face glowed,
But the more I wore
it the more it showed.

My wrist changed its color
To an odd shade of green.
Then at night it became
Clear I was easily seen.

My hand started glowing
Then soon so did my arm.
The military said
It would cause no harm.

True it didn’t hurt.
And I was seen at night,
But a glowing human
Just couldn’t be right.

When I found out it was
Killing me slowly I
Knew that I would
Soon have to die.

My wristwatch killed me
And now I am dead.
So tomorrow they’ll bury
Me in a boxed lined with lead.

 The Bug Zapper

Late at night
I leave the house.
I sit on the hood of my car.
I sit there quiet as a mouse.

I sit watching and waiting
Staring at the light.
Waiting for the right moment
When it comes out of the night.

I see it coming from far off.
It is so large and white.
The moth has one thing on its mind
How to get at that light.

It tries and tries again and again
Never reaching but never losing sight
Of that caged in big brilliant light.
If it were me I’d run in fright.

It flies away only to come back flying
Full force it hits mid flight.
There’s a Zap then a crack.
The moth is near dead
Its movement only slight.

Tiny Town

Living in a tiny town
Is just so much fun.
Cruising all night long
Until a quarter to one.
We pull into the Hill.
Oh, Boy what a thrill.

 Mini-Golf or Lawn?

Pink plastic lawn ornaments
And other fun things.
They make me so happy
I just want to sing.

A little lawn jockey.
A big Cement deer.
Two flamingos there..
A flock of ducks here

A large oval birdbath
With one of each kind
Of bird from blue jay
To pelican. Any thing I find.

Three tiny elves live under
A great big giant mushroom
that’s red with yellow dots.
One even has a broom.

A  windmill That goes round
And a fountain that works.
A brick Path to the door.
Keep off the grass you jerks.

A sun dial in the garden.
I even have flowers too.
It’s just so neat sometimes
I just don’t know what to do.

Some people think it’s tacky.
Some people want it off
My lawn. Some have the gall to say
It looks like a place to play mini golf.

The stapler

It’s evil like a snake
Its metal fangs glisten
As it punctures
Its prey
Leaving its fangs
Folded in its victim
It is always ready
with its endless
supply of fangs

 The Date

Take the pain away from me
It hurts so much I can’t see
I see a fly on the wall
Its life almost over its about to Fall
The pain makes it hard to think
I only comprehend the human stink
Of lives like mine being wasted
Never knowing the joys to be tasted
There’s a Fear growing deep inside
A fear that you must run and hide
The Lord said reap what you sow
But just how far does it have to go
Before I can be relieved
I know it is hard to believe
But for some it hurts so much
When your date makes you go dutch
It’s like they do not care
When they make you pay your share
Take this pain away from me
Just this once pay for me

The Fourteen Cent Stamp

There’s a man named
Sinclair Lewis
For some reason he’s famed

He’s someone, but who?
This Sinclair Lewis?
And exactly what did he do?

He doesn’t have the greatest looks
This Sinclair Lewis
Did he write books?


Airplanes are big
Airplanes are Loud
Airplanes go flying
Up above the clouds

Airplanes are noisy
Airplanes are large
Airplanes are like
A big fat barge

Airplanes are huge
Airplanes aren’t quiet
I wonder if I
Could learn to fly it

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