I had the world’s worst day at work. I haven’t felt this bad in a very, very long time. Perhaps it is simply the compounded issues of my emotional and physical state since the accident along with the long held in stress from everything at work. I just want to scream but all I do is cry.
I honestly did not know I could cry this much in one day.
While I am bitching about gas prices I might as well keep going. I am really starting to wonder how I am even going to be able to keep my job with the rising prices of gas.
I travel sixty plus miles each way to work. Money-wise that works out to $20 bucks a day (for now). This is a 100% increase over what I was paying per day including my turnpike tolls last year. Just thinking about this puts me into a downward spiral toward a deep depression. So what do I do?
Two days ago a young girl in our neighborhood died in a car accident. She was only 24. Only a few years older than my niece. While I may not have personally known her I do remember hearing about her from my friend who was her art teacher in middle school and about how talented and nice she was. Any time a life is taken it is sad, but when one has barely had time to start their life it is all the sadder.
Liz was a talented artist and quite the poet. You can read her poems at her MySpace page as long as they keep it up and as a memorial to her I will be posting her work on whataslacker.com. I just don’t think it should be lost. The photo to the right is one of her pieces. You can see it as well as other fine artists on the Berks Humane Society’s Art of Arf’s Sake website.
An obituary for Elizabeth Martelli was posted on the Reading Eagle’s website.Â
Well, today is my birthday and while I wasn’t planning on celebrating the numbers of them any more I do like to spend time with my family and friends on my b-day. Usually my family will gather for a birthday dinner and it is just great to be able to spend time with them. This year, however, is not so good. This month in general just isn’t a good month to be related to me in any form.
My mom is seriously ill and has been hospitalized. I am a HUGE mommy’s baby and I am taking this pretty hard. My mom has been through so much with her health and she has had a good life, but I am not ready to see her go. Last week when she was admitted she was very near death’s door. In fact her blood pressure was only 40 over 20 when she went into the emergency room.
For the past month or two my niece has been in and out of the emergency rooms with severe migraines. The hospitals really cannot do anything for her. They give her morphine or some other narcotic and then the rebound headaches are three times as bad as the original ones. These are not just regular headaches mind you. Along with all the pain she loses her sight, throws up and gets hives form head to toe. She will be spending most of last week and this week at Jefferson Hospital in Philadelphia to see what can be done for her.
Two days ago my Mom’s oldest sister had a stroke and is in the hospital too. She is doing okay, but a stroke in any shape or form is scary.
I also just found out my one uncle has a very advanced prostate cancer although we do not know the full extent of his illness it does not appear very hopeful. My mother-in-law’s son just had surgery this past month for prostate cancer and they feel they were able to get it all during the surgery. His prognosis is good, unlike my uncle’s. I know you guys don’t like to think about this, but don’t leave your health to chance go get regular check ups.
So what did I do for my birthday? It started out with a dentist appointment [this was already planned so I cannot blame it for my so-so b-day]. From there I went from hospital to hospital visiting all the people I love who are sick. Not the most festive way to spend the day, but I was glad to see that everyone was feeling a bit better and things were looking up for them. I’ll have another birthday next year and while I act like a little kid must of the time I am an adult and can handle it when a birthday just pushed aside. Family does come first you know. I was just glad I had the day off so I could go visiting.
But aren’t you glad not to be related to me right about now?
Heath Ledger died today in a Manhattan apartment said to be owned by Mary-Kate Olsen [this is most likely not true]. According to CNN.com he was pronounced dead at 3:30. We still don’t know the actual cause of death as of yet, but police say it may be a drug overdose as over the counter sleeping pills were found next to the body. He was only 28 years old. He will be missed. We will get a chance to see his last finished film later this summer. He played the Joker in the film Batman: The Dark Knight.
He will live on in his many films like Brokeback Mountain, Monsters Ball, The Order, A Knights Tale and the upcoming Dark Knight to name but a few.
Update [sort of]: This is what you get for going with the first news source. Bad, incomplete and wrong information. Apparently it was his appartment and the pills were perscription. Most likely an accidental death. And the rumors abound. May his family find comfort in knowing their son was loved by the American public even if though the weirdos out there are louder than the rest of us. What’s up with the “heath ledger mind control victim” rumor that’s going around any way?
I am sitting here wondering if I will ever enjoy life again. How does one go about getting ones life back on track once you enter this dark place…[depression]
I am so desperate to feel something other than this pain. I am in physical pain from the accident, but even worse than that I am in emotional pain too. And that is the absolute worst. I don’t know what to do to make myself fell better… [despair]
I am okay for most of the day. It is now, late at night, that things get really bad. I don’t see a light at the end of this tunnel. In fact it feels more like a closed box than a tunnel. Everywhere I turn I hit a wall.
I am afraid to drive to work, but I need to work to pay the bills. I can’t work without pain [shoulder, legs, ribs, back and wrist all hurt, everyday]. I can’t live without working. I can’t deal with the pain without seeing the doctor. I can’t see the doctor without money. The money has run out so I have to work, but it hurts. One big vicious circle.
 I need a lawyer but have no idea what I am doing nor can I afford one. I can’t pay the doctor how can I pay a lawyer… [destitution]
Well as I have stated previously, we were in a pretty bad accident on Sunday November 25th 2007. We were coming home after running a few errands. Leaving Wal-mart of all places [but not the Wal-mart that has been pissing me off with their DVD pricing this is one with good pricing]. When all of the sudden this SUV decides to make a left hand turn crossing over our lane in front of us.
I had a very similar accident 10 years ago when a white Ford Explorer decided to cross the road I was driving on directly in front of me. To live through two of these near head on collisions is amazing. With each succeeding accident my injuries have gotten worse. So I guess in 2017 I will have to watch out for any Ford Explorer trying to go in front of my car, because I most likely won’t survive the third on of these accidents. Especially if the rest of my dream from last year comes true.
Here are photos of the two vehicles involved. The black car is ours. I was the passenger. The dark green SUV is the perpetrator of this crime. He wasn’t really hurt. And I have my suspicions he was on his cell phone. I do know he did not even bother to have his turn signal on when he cut in front of us nearly killing us both. [Sorry the photos are rather blurry. I did not take them.]
 
This film which is very loosely based on Diane Arbus is pure fantasy. The title an imaginary portrait does not even begin to touch on how imaginary this really is.
As one reviewer put it, this is “a modern day beauty and the beast”. Nicole Kidman does a nice job. Even if it is very similar to all the parts she has been playing lately.
If you want to know about the artist do not watch this movie. If you want to spend two hours watching a fairy tale this is for you.
 As a photographer and fan of Diane Arbus I was really looking forward to this film and when I finally saw it I was less than impressed.
 A few good resources for info on Diane Arbus can be found at these websites:
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