LEGO Brand Retail
May 282010
 

I don’t like this feeling.

I don’t like feeling.

I feel strange. I can feel everything happening in my body.

I feel weak. Nauseous.

I can fell my heart beating in my chest.

I can feel every breath I take. Especially the ones I don’t take. My chest feels heavy. It is hard to breath. I feel out of breath when all I am doing is lying here.

I can feel my throat. I can feel the breath as it moves down my throat. How can air get caught in your throat? My tongue feels like it is pushing on the back of my throat. Pushing it closed.

I feel my head, the weight of my head. Yet I am light headed?

I feel my arms and legs. Feel them feel as if they are useless or not even there. Tingly but not tingly. Weak.

Remember to breath.

My stomach is empty yet I feel it working. Digesting. Gurgling. Pushing nothingness into my bowels, bowels that bubble and twist.

Headache.

I can feel my eyes moving about in their sockets. I feel every blink.

I feel like a stranger in my own body.

I want to go back to not feeling any of this as it happens, to blissfully feel nothing as my body works.

I don’t like this feeling.

I don’t like feeling.

Sep 122008
 

PA No Smoking Law went into effect yesterday. Of course this has pissed off a slew of smokers, but as a non-smoker and someone who is actually allergic to smoke I am very happy to see this law finally come to Pennsylvania. Smoking really is a filthy, dirty habit and your lungs will thank the state for stepping in on their behalf.

While this is a statewide ban on indoor smoking across the state there are a few exceptions like bars that have less than 20% of their sales in food and casinos. Personally, I think this should have been wide sweeping and covered ALL businesses. It hasn’t hurt bars in California at all.

It will be great to not have to hang all my close outside after being in a restaurant and knowing I will be healthier without the second hand smoke. No more feeling sick when the smoke from a table of smokers blows across our table (it always seemed like non-smoking sections were still way too close to the smokers).

I have to agree with SharonHerald.com who said, “A complete non-smoking law everywhere would have made it simple. But then again, no one has ever accused our state General Assembly of doing what’s right for the people. They are too often swayed by special-interest groups and campaign contributions.”  How true is that?

Mar 132008
 

Well, today is my birthday and while I wasn’t planning on celebrating the numbers of them any more I do like to spend time with my family and friends on my b-day. Usually my family will gather for a birthday dinner and it is just great to be able to spend time with them. This year, however, is not so good. This month in general just isn’t a good month to be related to me in any form.

My mom is seriously ill and has been hospitalized. I am a HUGE mommy’s baby and I am taking this pretty hard. My mom has been through so much with her health and she has had a good life, but I am not ready to see her go. Last week when she was admitted she was very near death’s door. In fact her blood pressure was only 40 over 20 when she went into the emergency room.

For the past month or two my niece has been in and out of the emergency rooms with severe migraines. The hospitals really cannot do anything for her. They give her morphine or some other narcotic and then the rebound headaches are three times as bad as the original ones. These are not just regular headaches mind you. Along with all the pain she loses her sight, throws up and gets hives form head to toe. She will be spending most of last week and this week at Jefferson Hospital in Philadelphia to see what can be done for her.

Two days ago my Mom’s oldest sister had a stroke and is in the hospital too. She is doing okay, but a stroke in any shape or form is scary.

I also just found out my one uncle has a very advanced prostate cancer although we do not know the full extent of his illness it does not appear very hopeful. My mother-in-law’s son just had surgery this past month for prostate cancer and they feel they were able to get it all during the surgery. His prognosis is good, unlike my uncle’s. I know you guys don’t like to think about this, but don’t leave your health to chance go get regular check ups.

So what did I do for my birthday? It started out with a dentist appointment [this was already planned so I cannot blame it for my so-so b-day]. From there I went from hospital to hospital visiting all the people I love who are sick. Not the most festive way to spend the day, but I was glad to see that everyone was feeling a bit better and things were looking up for them. I’ll have another birthday next year and while I act like a little kid must of the time I am an adult and can handle it when a birthday just pushed aside. Family does come first you know. I was just glad I had the day off so I could go visiting.

But aren’t you glad not to be related to me right about now?